Holy Cannoli

So guess what happened at the house this week?

Nothing.

Isn't that exciting?

Actually, there was some progress this week. The plumbing is finished on the lowest level and they are ready to pour concrete back into the basement floor. The pipes are all in, but the hole in the floor...well...actually, hole is an understatement...the CRATER in the basement floor is still there so a lot was accomplished, but it doesn't feel very good. Oh, and the framing continued. There were things we wanted to happen this week though, that were put on hold.

On hold because there was nothing to do. No, no...that wasn't it. On hold because folks didn't show up to work. No, no...that wasn't it either. On hold because, believe it or not, subcontractors won't work without money. Who knew? Something about businesses to run and families to feed. There was a minor issue on a form that was faxed to the mortgage company, a sort of blurry check box type of issue and the form had to be filled out again and faxed again and processed again, which takes a minimum of 5 business days. (Insert choice word here.) So, no money = no work. No garage door installation. No insulation. No HVAC. (Shaking fist in the air.)

Even with all of that work stalled, the schedule and life in general nearly ran us over this week. Fortunately, the weekend brought a few fleeting moments of awesomeness. My oldest daughter turned 15 this week. She couldn't wait to get to the license bureau to get her driver's permit. She read a statistic that 50% of people taking their permit test for the first time fail. She is one of those people. Better luck next week.

Happy 15th Tuna!

We tried to erase the pain with a day out with a few friends. They spent the better part of 2 hours in a mirror maze, broke dozens of lasers in a Mission Impossible-style laser room, ate lunch together and wrapped up with a shopping trip to Charming Charlie. Oh, and there were cannoli. She could not bring in 15 without a plate of cannoli. I have no idea why.

Saturday ended with this beautiful sunset:

Sunset 

The best thing about our temporary home is the sunset views. Amazing as they are, I will trade them all for home, in a heartbeat. I have been incredibly homesick this week.

So, new week...new hope. Here is hoping the check comes so we can get the crews working again full speed.

  

One of Those Days

Today has been one of those days. The kind of day that picks up speed like a dirty snowball until it gains unstoppable momentum, sideswipes you and leaves you caddywhompus  on your butt. There was an underhanded smack from somebody’s allergies and asthma. There was a poke from autism.  And a big helping of so-much-for-your-plans with a side of oh-by-the-way.   

It is the oh-by-the-way that makes me want to stand out on the door step and scream at the top of my lungs that karma can kiss my big, white arse. But I won’t. ‘Cause I don’t roll like that. (Well, maybe once in a while, but not this week.) I’ll just drink another Dr. Pepper and suck the life out of a leftover Cadbury crème egg and knit a few rows and take a deep breath because...life. goes. on.  

My oldest girl turned 15 today. So, there was that. That was wonderful.  Oh, if only the day could have just paused right there.

But, it did not.

We were eating lunch when the big guy said “oh, by the way…they tore the basement stairs out today. “

Excuse me? Whaaaaa? The stairs they just built?

Basement stairs, raised.  

They are not exactly 'torn out'. They have simply been raised and held up out of the way with makeshift supports. Because that is normal, right? Eh?!

The hopelessly insulation-clogged plumbing just happens to run right underneath the basement stairs. They were in the path of the jackhammer.

Of course they were. Because, WHY NOT?

Oh. My. Stars. That is a big hole.  

Apparently, the jackhammer rules our basement. Like a boss.

Pardon me now while I inhale my Dr. Pepper.   

Oh, and by the way...

This is what the house looked like on the outside today:

Almost ready for siding.  

There's no place like home. (click) There's no place like home. (click) There's no place like home. (click)

Cock-A-Doodle-Doo

The house is rolling right along. Yesterday, the roofing crew tore off our old heat and smoke damaged roof and had a new one on before 5 o'clock. I was quite impressed. And I am not easily impressed with roofing shingles and nail guns. Our neighbor's child said "the neighbor's house is noisy, and it speaks Spanish." Ha! We had a fabulous crew and it feels great to know that another task is complete.

New roof!

This week, the house will speak the language of the jackhammer. Man, I'm glad I don't live next door to that noise!

No, actually I have the best neighbors ever and even though they call this noise the sound of progress, I feel bad that they have to hear all of our rebuilding commotion. I should buy a sign that says 'Pardon Our Mess'. 

Speaking of shopping...

I went shopping for a dining room table today at this cute little store that I could buy one of everything in. They sell authentic, rustic Mexican furniture. We had several of their pieces in the house pre-crock. I did find the PERFECT dining room table. But I didn't buy it today. Not yet. We'll order it next week. I bought something else though. Something really awesome. 

I bought a cock.

Cock-A-Doodle-Doo 

When we got him home we couldn't resist standing him in front of the door and ringing the door bell. We hid around the corner and watched. I'm sure the neighbors think we're crazy. We just haven't lived in this temporary home long enough for them to confirm it yet. They'll get it figured out soon I'm sure. 

The look on Fish's face was well worth the price of this beautiful chicken. Her eyebrows went way up high and then her lips pursed in confusion. Tuna wondered aloud what was wrong with us. The yellow lab hid behind the door and barked in terror. 

I was going to put it out front at the old house when we move home, but for now I think it might look great on the hearth by our new Wii box. 

I know, I know...he is not of the Blogess'  Knock Knock chicken stature, but he is awesome. In fact, he might be better because he is a Coca-Cola cock.  

Even better is that the big guy loved me enough to humor me and pull out the debit card without a word. I love that big guy. Almost as much as I love my new metal cock. 

Bustin' Up

Easter… spring…eggs…

Ah…new beginnings.

Framing…building….

Progress.

Right?

WRONG!

They are busting stuff up again! We are supposed to be in Operation Rebuild now, not Operation Tear-Out. Somebody didn’t get the memo.

Today, they took the siding off the house.

The siding is off. Isn't that attractive?

Saturday, when I visited the house this is what greeted me:

Removing the clogged plumbing. Apparently, plumbing and insulation do not play well together. 

Yes, folks…that is a tunnel. In my basement floor. It looks like an excavation site. Or a serial killer's lair. I should hide a few fossils in there and charge an admission fee.

A jackhammer is not what you want to see in your house.

Tomorrow they will tear the rest of the roof off. I bought an Angry Bird squishy ball to relieve some of my anxiety.

Hiee-Ya!

Poor bird. I just might squish the life plumb out of him before this week is over. 

You need a giggle?

I'll leave you with a little giggle. All of my girls got new dresses for Easter. Some of them wanted new shoes. 

Guess which one did not.

A girl after my own heart. 

If We're Ever Going to See a Rainbow...

We have to stand a little rain.

Yeah, yeah...I get it. But, in our HOUSE?

C'mon people. Really?

I knew it was going to rain in my house. I could see it in my crystal ball. Plus, it's March. And what does it do in March? It rains. Oh, and the wind blows. Yep. It rains and blows. So it didn't really take a genius to see what was coming from that whole tarp on the roof thing I shared here a few weeks back.

These...

Tarps on back of house

led to this...

A trickle of water in the upstairs bedroom.

which resulted in this...

Small pond in the kitchen floor.

And then there was this...

The big guy is sweeping the water through the hole for the floor vent into the basement. 

Because apparently the temporary fix is just to shove all the water to the lowest level of the house so it can go down a drain. Aye yi yi. 

They have assured me that this is a normal part of the construction process, that the water has hurt nothing, and that the roofers will be out soon. That is so not reassuring. There is not supposed to be water puddled on my floors. This, I am sure of. 

Alas, it is a new day and today, the sun is shining. Hi ho, hi ho, off to shop we go.

We've picked out our sofas and chairs, but we still need to decide on beds for the kids. 

Oh, and we need to pick up a calculator while we're out. I can't believe how many times in the last five months I've wanted a calculator. 

Oh, and an iron! We're going to need our own iron when the leasing company picks their's up. 

And towels. We don't have towels yet. Just the rented ones. 

Faucets. We need to look at faucets today. 

And shower inserts. 

Tile. 

We still haven't picked the tile. 

And...

What Are You Smokin' Lady?

So the other day we were shopping for stuff, like we do ALL the time right now. You know, stuff that we once owned. Stuff to fill our house back up when it is ready to move into. Every house needs a sufficient amount of stuff, right?

Anyway...this simple shopping trip for mundane stuff turned hysterical in an instant.

Here is the conversation I had with a total stranger at Hobby Lobby:

Stranger: Oh! I just LOVE that box! That is really nice!

Me: Yeah! I got it for the Wii... Isn't it cute?

Box

Stranger: (takes one step back and stares at me in utter shock)

Me: (What the hell is wrong with her? Surely she has heard of a Wii.) A Wii...a game system...I thought it would hold all of the controllers and games and stuff...

Stranger: OH! I thought you said WEED. "I got it to hold the weed."

I cracked up!! A weed box! No wonder she was looking at me that way. She said "I thought, I can't believe this girl just said that...I wonder if she'll stand here and say it again?" Then she said "and that is an awfully BIG box."

I could not stop laughing. The big guy, who by the way looks a lot like a Grateful Dead band member, caught on and started laughing. The cashier caught the whole thing finally and she got the giggles. We pushed our new Wii box out to the truck laughing the whole way. I could not get over the mortified look on that woman's face when I said Wii box. 

We proceeded to the paint store and started trying to match paint samples for our newly selected brand to the cards I've been carrying in my purse for oh, five months. Several minutes into our paint chip perusing we realize we are standing next to the same lady shopping for paint and the whole fit of laughter started all over again. We had to fill the paint store associate in on our weed box scenario. 

I'm sure none of our future shopping trips will be that much fun and I'll certainly never look at the Wii box without giggling. 

Wii Box

  

Spring Break Sprung

Spring break has sprung. What did we do for spring break? We shopped, we met with subcontractors, and we pored over the inventory sheets.

Wait a minute….isn’t that what we do EVERY week? Yep. Pretty much. 

We met with more subcontractors. Oh, wait. I said that already, huh? Well guess what? I’ll be saying it again, and again, and again because it just keeps happening, and happening, and happening. Actually, I don’t meet with subcontractors. The big guy does. My role is to ask him umpteen-eleven times who he met with and what they said and who he is meeting with the next day. And I’m really good at my role. Just ask him. It’s okay. You can ask him more than once too because he is super-patient with repetitive questions.  (colossal eye roll)

We pored over the inventory sheets trying to count how many cereal bowls, dinner plates, and salad plates were accounted for and what price range we were given for those items. Then, we gave up. We gave up because the numbers didn’t come anywhere close to what we owned and the prices varied tremendously.  And then we remembered what the kitchen looked like when the inventory was put together and we laughed.

Kitchen floor and over-stuffed chair, post crock. 

Oh hey, there's the rest of our dishes! Right under the insulation and the ceiling. I can see the little bits of bright, red stoneware peeking through here and there.  

So, off we went to the store to buy new dishes! I don’t have a pretty picture for you because the wonderful folks at Pryde's of Old Westport wrapped them all up very nicely and they will stay that way until we actually move home and put them in our new kitchen cabinets.  I can assure you though, that they are ah-mazing and I cannot wait to eat on them.  If you are in the Kansas City area, I highly recommend Pryde's- great staff and a fabulous selection of kitchenware.  If you are not in the Kansas City area then you probably have an IKEA in which case I don’t want to talk to you anyway.  Hmph. (unintelligibly muttering,  can'tbelieveIhaveawholehousetorestockwithnoIKEAwithin8flippinhours) 

We couldn’t let spring break slip by without a little fun.

What? Shopping is not fun?  

No, no it is not. Not anymore. We are all seriously sick of shopping for stuff we already owned. 

So we had a little surprise visit to D & B. The girls had milkshakes then we were off to play games. The big guy made his littlest girl’s eyes light up when he landed the spinning light on the 1,000 ticket space. She clapped for him while the tickets rolled out…and rolled out…and rolled out. He is her hero.

They have arrived at D & B, but they don't realize it yet!

Tuna does smile! Must be the milkshake.

The Spin Master, AKA Little Bean's hero. 

And what do you do with all those tickets?  

I’m not even going to talk about what is going on at the house this week because really…nothing is as exciting as the new dishes!

Oh okay, fine. They are starting the HVAC work.

See? Not exciting. So not exciting. I’m sorry Mr. HVAC, but new dishes are the thang!