Or, What We Actually Did For Spring Break. We really know how to live it up 'round here.
When I announced that we were taking a road trip during spring break, the kids were super excited. When I admitted the destination was a meat locker about two hours away, they staged a revolt. The two vegetarians were mortified. The Big Guy and I were a bit excited- we were looking forward to having a freezer full of meat. The kids, not so much.
At any rate, we were taking a road trip and that was that. Saturday morning (okay, afternoon) we ordered the young herd to pee, double checked that they all had jackets, and loaded the coolers into the minivan. We set the house alarm, said bye to the dog, and we were off!
We almost made it out of the neighborhood before we realized the Big Guy had no jacket. Home we went- turned off the house alarm, greeted the dog, grabbed the jacket, set the alarm, said bye to the dog, and we were off!
We stopped at the local pharmacy to buy motion sickness bands for Tuna (because she left hers on the other side of town) but they were sold out. A quick trip to the grocery store proved futile as well. At this point, we realized we had forgotten my iPod and it is not practical to make a two-hour road trip without the iPod, so home we went- turned off the house alarm, greeted the dog, grabbed the iPod, set the alarm, said bye to the dog, and we were off!
We got on the highway, drove all of ten miles, and then stopped at another pharmacy to buy the elusive motion sickness bands. By this point, the kids were playing On the Road Again on an iPhone. This time, we were really off!
Two hours later, we arrived at the meat locker. It was a step back in time. They had an old school playground straight out of our childhood. The kids took off running. We shouted a few warnings about the dangers of merry-go-rounds and left them to spin at their own risk.
The vegetarians never entered the store, but Tuna and Rough Stuff bravely took a peek. Rough Stuff asked where the cows were and Tuna said the place was lame. This humored the butcher so he took them both on a quick tour of the freezer where they could see the hanging beef. Rough Stuff was appalled and has not eaten meat since. Tuna was awed and wanted to know where the head was. "In the dumpster, with the skin!" said the butcher. And out to the dumpster she went.
We loaded 128 pounds of home-grown, antibiotic and hormone-free beef into the coolers and we were on the road again. We explored a little vintage thrift store where Rough Stuff bought a cute little pair of vintage baby moccasins for her American Girl doll, Kaya. We stopped at Mennonite-owned grocery and stocked up on noodles and spices. Just before sundown we toured a state park that we vowed to visit again in the future. After a short stop for dinner, we were homeward bound.
All in all, not as terrible of a road trip as our little herd thought it would be. A vacation it was not, but it made for a fun day out of the house before returning to school this week.
It's all in the perspective, you see.
(Have a little faith, my dear children.)
(And for the love of all that is sacred, don't go looking in dumpsters behind meat lockers.)