How to Not Have a Successful Hip Impingement Surgery
Tips from Tuna
- Address your surgeon as 'Mr. Dude'
- Render your Morphine pump useless.
- Tolerate replacement pain medication with vomiting and nausea
- Develop a fever and spend 10 hours in the emergency room
- Develop a spontaneously draining hematoma and spend 6 hours in the emergency room
- Get so loopy on 2nd replacement pain medication that you find the sound of your own voice absolutely hysterical.
How to Make the Best Out of a Crappy Hip Surgery
- While looped up on pain medication, discover that your tongue is too big for your mouth.
- Wear Ninja Turtle PJs everywhere.
- Ask your siblings for fresh ice water 25 seconds after they sit down.
- Bling your crutches.
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| Graffiti-print duct tape-covered crutches. |
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