I was in the shower. That's a good place to be when a situation arises- wet and soapy. I heard a knock on the door and what sounded like the teacher from the Peanuts cartoons coming from the other side of the door. "Wah wah woh wah woh wah!" For the love of all! "Open the door!" I yelled back. The door opened and a frantic Fish cried out something about Little Bean having nail polish remover poured in her mouth.
I grabbed a towel and yelled for her to bring the poisoned child to me. Little Bean entered the bathroom smelling like she had chugged a gallon of nail polish remover. I ordered Fish to dial 411 and get a connection to Poison Control immediately and I grabbed a cup and instructed to Little Bean to rinse and spit, and not to swallow.
Frantically we carried on for a few minutes until I had Poison Control on the line. Rinse. Spit. Cry. Rinse. Spit. Snot. Rinse. Spit. Snot. Cry. Snot. Rinse. Spit.
Between spits I tried to pull out details. How much nail polish remover? Did she swallow it? Did any get in her tummy? Thankfully, she had not swallowed and it seemed only a teeny bit had gotten into her throat. Poison Control informed us that we had the best kind of nail polish remover on hand- non-acetone, with a sponge in the container. The risk was minor and since she had not swallowed the stuff a good glass of milk should coat her mouth and tummy and remove most of the taste.
Once the milk was downed and her little body washed, I had more time to ask "why in the name of all that is holy did you have nail polish remover in your mouth?!"
Actually, I already knew part of the story. I needed the finer details. Apparently, Rough Stuff wandered onto her big sister's nail polish remover and decided she needed to remove her finger nail polish. Upon opening the container, she decided Little Bean should get a good whiff of this awful smelling stuff. So, like any good big sister, she shoved the container right up in Little Bean's face and tipped it upside down over her nose. That is when all of the liquid not absorbed into the sponge poured right into Little Bean's mouth and nose. This incident occurred in the family room, because that is exactly where you want to pour nail polish remover out.
So that is how I ended up standing in a towel with a crying, snotting, foul-smelling child, on the phone with Poison Control, with water and conditioner dripping in a puddle at my feet.
How did you spend your Saturday, hmm?
(Little Bean is perfectly fine, though her tongue was a bit numb at dinner time and she could smell nail polish remover in her sinuses for several hours. Rough Stuff is mortified that the nail polish remover actually poured out of the sponge. Fish has been properly appreciated for handling the whole incident so well. I am praying I don't see bleached holes in the rug or furniture tomorrow.)