Time Warp

Are you keeping count?

I AM.

Let's count 'em together. Ready? Here we go. 1...(living in a hotel)...2...(moved into our first rental)...3...4...(started demolition)...5...(moved into our 2nd rental)...6...(building)...7...(building)...8...(still building)...9...1/2...months. Yep. It's been 9 1/2 months since the fire.

We were going to be home in 3 months. (Pardon me while I CRACK UP LAUGHING.)

We were going to be home in 6 months. (Not by a long shot.)

We were going to be home in mid-June.  (Nope.)

We were going to be home in late-June. (Uh-uh.)

We were going to be home by mid-July. (Apparently not.)

We hoped to be home before the kids started school in mid-August. (Not likely.)

At this point I'm praying we are home before the one year anniversary date.

If we are not home by the one year anniversary date you can just forward all correspondence to the sandbar down by the river, where I will be wallowing, half-crazed in the sand, all zombie-like, mumbling about Crock Pots and black beans and fire and brimstone.

Ah, but we are making progress. It has been a good week. The insurance company dropped in for an inspection complete with 4 trucks worth of inspectors. They descended like vultures ready to pick apart every detail of the framing, plumbing, windows, electrical, HVAC, and roofing work. They picked apart bills and quotes and bids looking for any error on our part. Finally, they left satisfied and agreed to release more money. Yay!

More money = more progress!

Take a look! We'll start at the door...

Front door.

Then a jump to the left...

The bay window.

And a step to the right...

Front windows.

Isn't it awesome? Who knew House-Wrap and windows could be so exciting?

I totally did the Time Warp in my head. Not with my body though, 'cause apparently it takes forever to recover from surgery. 

Showers!

Two of the shower/tub combos have arrived. They are sitting in the family room, but hey...they have arrived. One has to make it's way downstairs and one has to make it's way upstairs. All I can say to the crew is "have fun with that."

So, this week I'm halfway between 'stuck in a time warp and never going home' and 'yay! Progress!!"

Update: Ahem. So I just realized that I had already posted pics of the windows and the House-Wrap. Because really...that is how twisted and exhausted my mind is right now. I don't even remember that last post. Those pics were from the Big Guy's phone and today was the first day I actually got to see the House-Wrap and Windows for myself which made it super exciting. And so, in my excitement to share what I saw...I had a brief moment of insanity. You'll get over it. It's not really contagious.

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

Last week was just rough. No other way to state it. I am still exhausted from surgery. Things were moving at a turtle's pace at the house. Things were just off kilter.

And then there was Tuesday. Tuesday was just dang special. A dear friend encouraged me to share this little tale. She said it made her laugh. Maybe it will make you laugh too. That's how I roll folks. I share my pain for your entertainment.

If you are of the "oh, TMI, TMI" crowd, you should just stop reading now. Then again, how exactly did you end up at this blog??

I had managed to log on and work for a short few minutes when I had to make an emergency run upstairs, because you know...I have no gallbladder now and apparently I really needed that thing. Don't get me wrong- it attacked me and I've ended our relationship without regret, but you know...we have to learn to live without each other now. Now, I don't actually run anywhere. I hit the first few steps jogging. By the 3rd step I was walking. By the 5th step I was hanging onto the rail and thinking that a nice sit on the stairs didn't sound like a bad idea. By the time I reached the top I was feeling faint and exhausted.

I could hear a commotion from the bathroom and when I emerged I discovered our yellow lab, Jenny running in circles with her head tipped in an awkward position. She had hooked her metal collar link in the carpet and as she ran frantic loops she was ripping a growing string from the carpet. You know, the carpet in the rental house where we would like to get our deposit refunded. I tackled her and tried to get her unhooked but she was wound up and the whole act was akin to wrestling a wet pig. I've never actually wrestled with a wet pig but it surely was exactly the same.

Jai, our Great Pyrenees (that is a small polar bear if you've never met one) decided this looked like great fun and tackled me. Jai was jumping and bucking like a bronco and bumping me in the process. I was trying desperately to protect my sore belly and stay on my feet. Jenny was panting and jumping in manic glee. The carpet was unraveling at an alarming rate. Finally, I freed the collar and unleashed a cussing at those dogs that could have rivaled a drunk sailor.

I went to wash my hands and proceeded to have a sneezing fit. Every sneeze left me groaning in pain and clutching my belly button. I was pretty sure if I didn't hold it tight enough it would actually open up and I might lose more than a gallbladder. I have irrational fears like that. I refused to remove my Steri-Strips  after the surgery for fear that my incisions would pop open. It's been over 2 weeks and I still won't remove the glue. You just never know. I want those suckers sealed tight.

Anyhoo. Following a particularly disorienting sneeze, I tipped over a cup of Dr. Pepper I had carried up there and it poured over the counter and into the drawer and aimed itself in the direction of a brand new box of 300 Q-Tips. I rescued what I could of the Q-Tips and started trying to dry out the drawer. I grabbed a little plastic tray that held my 'beauty' products and started washing things off in the sink but the tray was hiding an open band-aid on the bottom (what is it with kids and band-aids for crying out loud!?) and it stuck to my hand and tipped and launched eyelash curlers and eye-cream and clippers and such all over the bathroom floor which was now covered in Dr. Pepper that was still flowing over the counter like a caffeinated fountain.

I screamed "son-of-a-biscuit" and a few more colorful things as I kicked the whole mess across the floor and walked out of the room. The dogs tucked their ears and tails low and pretended to ignore me. I went back downstairs and returned to my computer as if nothing had happened and decided I would clean the mess up later because surely later would be more productive than now had been.  

So, that was Tuesday. But, alas, by Friday there were good things happening again.

Windows!

The windows arrived! 

Front door.

The front door arrived! We got a great deal on this door and I love the Mission-style look. The phone-photo doesn't do it justice but until the temperature falls below 105° I will not be out there with my camera to get better shots. And yes, our yard has this much shade, so really, all of the pics will be dark. But hey- the door is here and it is beautiful. Trust me. 

House-Wrap.

And see that?? House-Wrap!! No more bare wood! I'm so flippin' excited I could jump up and down! Of course, that would hurt, so I'll just keep my excitement to a minimum.