Friday, January 20, 2012

Shh...Houses Have Secrets

You know the saying, 'if these walls could talk'? Well, our walls are a talkin'. Turns out, our house has a lot of dirty little secrets. It seems that the more walls they tear down, the more secrets the house reveals. And they all mean one thing: more $$.

We had a room on the back of the house. It was an office. And a craft room. And a pantry. Oh, and we sometimes hid the unfolded laundry back there too. Oh, okay! It was a junk room. A catchall. Don't judge me! You have one too! It was built on by the previous owner and I'm using 'built' very loosely here. We knew that when we bought the house. But we LOVED the house and when you really love something, you have to love it unconditionally, faults included. So, I accepted my little bonus room, faults and all. I even Duct taped the seams with purple tape to keep the winter chill down and avoid frostbite on our fingers when we used the computer back there. We knew there were issues, but...

Then the wall came down. And really, who knew?? That room was hiding so much more. No wonder it was so cold! One wall was completely rotten. Ka-ching! We'll have to fix that and insurance doesn't cover that repair. Ouch. No surprise though, really.
Secret #1: Rot under the window on the 'built-on room'
  Then came secret number two. And this was a biggie. This one reeked of betrayal.
Secret #2: Botched repair job under living room windows
When we purchased the house six years ago, the owner said that he had found a small termite mound on the property. No big deal. No damage. He hired an exterminator that guaranteed they wouldn't return for two years and they never did. He failed to disclose this dirty little secret. The termites ate the wall around the window on the front of the house.

But gets better. Presumably, when the siding was being replaced on the house, he filled the hole created by the termites, with concrete. Quite resourceful, eh? Almost as resourceful as the foam cup stuck in the plumbing line on my last post. Only this quick fix didn't work. You can see daylight through the wide gaps in the wall and several years worth of snows and spring rains have entered that wall and done their damage. Ka-ching! Insurance doesn't cover that little issue either. Filth and foul.

Then there was this little secret. At least it won't cost any money.
Secret #3: Unknown tool 
This tool was inside a wall. Not like, fell down inside the wall when someone was repairing something. No, more like, placed ever so carefully and then encased inside the wall. Weird.

Personally, I think there are two possibilities for this.

Either, the Clue Scenario:
It was __________ in the _________ with the __________. Quick! Hide the weapon.

Or, Revenge of the Builder Scenario:
Dry Waller 1: Hey Bob! You seen my tool?
Dry Waller 2: Tool? What tool? You're the only tool around here.
Dry Waller 1: He's always hiding my tools. I'll fix his wagon.

Clearly, the house with all of it's hidden secrets, is making me crazy. er.  

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