Thursday, July 18, 2013

All Rise

Court is in session.

Today, we went to court with Flooring Guy. We were fortunate enough to be first up on the docket. The judge required us to meet with a court-appointed mediator. That was a fairly short meeting. After a prolonged attempt to add up Flooring Guy's numbers, we were excused from the meeting. There were raised voices coming from the meeting room and then the mediator emerged to announce that we would need to go back in front of the judge because we were NEVER going to work this out.

Our hearing with the judge was long and painful. Let me summarize it for you:

Flooring Guy said (paraphrasing here, of course): I'm suing them for 5 green apples because we agreed on 6 red apples and I billed them for 8 oranges and 2 grapes. But, I shoulda subtracted 1 of them grapes and then it would all equal a kumquat.    


And so on and so forth we danced around the court room for the next hour. Well...we stood still looking like he'd just fell of the kumquat cart and he danced around so much the judge had to ask him to stand in one place.

When the whole fiasco was winding down he looked desperately at the Big Guy and pleaded "you remember don't you? You remember Big Guy!?"

Um, no. We are not here to plead your case for you Mr. Flooring Guy.

We said (again, paraphrasing): Um...he installed only 2 bananas. We don't know why he's asking for additional fruit.

The whole thing felt like a fall down the rabbit hole and I'm still clawing my way back out. Bizarre-O.

The judge will mail his decision so I pray that today was the last time we will ever lay eyes on Flooring Guy.

Flooring Guy, don't let the carpet tack hit your way out.

Yes, we DO remember. Every single time we walk by that one un-carpeted stair. 

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